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Recent Posts

The Simplicity of Growth
Moving Through Exquisite Pain
Worry is a Choice
Achieving Goals vs. Magical Thinking
Clearing Clutter

Categories

A Word on Overwhelm
Achieving Goals vs. Magical Thinking
Become the CEO of Your Feelings
Consult Your Teenage Self
Deploying Strengths
Find Your Own Aunt Agnes
Moving Through Exquisite Pain
Quiet Courage
Self-Confidence and the Narrative Transplant
The Habit Loop
The Nobel Prize, Cell Membranes and YOU
The Simplicity of Growth
Urge Surfing
Worry is a Choice
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Wellness Pearl Blog

The Simplicity of Growth

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."  Viktor Frankl

Besieged at every turn with stress, work, family, and traffic?  Ambushed by the emotional wake of others or a toxic food environment? Have you tried to make some changes but they last hours or days and can’t find a way to make changes stick?    Why is it that some people firmly decide to make needed changes and are successful, while the vast majority of others appear to be stuck?

Moving Through Exquisite Pain

Moving through Exquisite Pain 
 
                                                            Vulnerability (latinwounding first  known use 1605)
"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear" 
 C.S.  Lewis 

 When we are going through an exceptionally hard time in our life, we may find it irritating or insensitive to hear about the tenants of positive psychology.

Worry is a Choice

Worry is a Choice
Worry: wor·ry ˈwərē/ old English-to strangulate
 
To worry is to feel troubled and uneasy, true fear is a gift, 
unwarranted fear is a curse and misuse of imagination.
Gavin De Becker, author theGift of Fear
 
An excessive degree of  worry impacts our health and well-being.  Many of us latch onto some imagined catastrophic future that never comes. Learn the difference between fear and worry and how to banish worry from our lives.  Fear is an energizing response--it causes our bodies to take action even without our awareness.

Achieving Goals vs. Magical Thinking

Achieving Goals vs. Magical Thinking

The Anti- New Years Resolution
Does your New Year’s resolution look like this? Of the 45% of Americans that make resolutions, only8%achieve their goals.  This bleak picture may stem from not applying proven methods in  human change science.  In order to avoid magical thinking on setting New Year’s goals, the strategy of 
mental contrasting  can help you backward plan from the goals.  This involves contrasting your desired future with present reality.

Clearing Clutter

Clearing Clutter* to Honor the Self
 
Clutter (noun) \ˈklə-tər\  middle English first used in 1556,  Cloterne: Clot
 
We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.                                                             Tao Te Ching

How the 2013 Nobel Prize Applies to a Life Lived Well

I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom.Simone de Beauvoir

The 2013 Nobel Prize in Physiologywent to scientists who discovered the intelligence of cells was not its nucleus, but its membrane.   The cell membrane, it turns out, is the “brains” of the cell and is fully in charge of how it responds to its environment.  It has its own aptitude about how to transport cargo in and out, when to release cargo it no longer needs, when and with whom it will dock with, and when to call in hormonal help.

A Word on Overwhelm

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.
Rumi
 
Almost universally, when a person is feeling overwhelmed in life, it is due to the tragic expression of unmet needs.  We are all dealing with the demands to do more with less,  we have multiple, and sometimes conflicting roles (parenting vs. career- building) and research suggests that if we get less than 6 hours of sleep  a night, our judgment is equal to that of DUI
 
We have 24 hours in each day, and if we are not thoughtful about how we invest our time, we can quickly become very inhospitable to others, monster-like even.

Become the CEO of Your Feelings

Loretta Ford with Eileen O'Grady, the recipient of the 2013 Loretta C. Ford Lifetime Achievement Award.
Change your state of mind by firing every thought you ever had and have it 
re-interview for its position                     Gretchen Pisano


One of the five central components of human wellbeing is the ability to feel positive emotions, really feel them.  Feeling positive emotions is not the same as thinking them.   It means letting the positive emotion land and pausing to truly feel it.
 
Feeling positive emotions is strongly linked to the

Self-Confidence and the Narrative Transplant

Straightening out The Inner Life: We Become What We Think About

If we want to experience self-confidence on the outside, we must practice integrity on the inside.  Self-confidence flows from a foundation consistent with our innermost thoughts. In this sense, we are self-made. We are where we are because of the thoughts we have allowed to occupy our mind. Whatever we thought over the last months or years we have become, as the result of all of those thoughts.  Personal growth is not easy but there are ways to create inner and outer harmony.

Find Your Own Aunt Agnes


What you help a child to love can be more important than what you help him to learn. 
African Proverb

Last month my Aunt Agnes passed away at the age of 86;  I have cherished her my entire life.  Her funeral was one of the most beautiful I have ever attended.  A nun with the Sisters of Mercy since 1950, she lived a beautiful and wholly authentic life.  She loved deeply and cared passionately about people, she was sharp, full of wisdom and hilarious.  To describe her in a paragraph is not possible, so I won’t.