Escape the Willpower Trap There is a dramatic
difference between knowing and doing. We all have places that we may be stuck.
There may be something in our lives that we know we want to change; yet we
don't. A major reason we often fail is that we succumb to the willpower trap.
Lasting change often fails because we rely on willpower, yet what we really
need is skill. We all have unseen, powerful behavioral bullies that influence
us and we are blind to these saboteurs. Behavioral bullies do not have one root
cause, they can come from many sources, such as pervasive marketing practices,
toxic communities, or life-limiting habits that include avoiding difficult
conversations, boredom, stress, and lack of purpose, all of which impact mood
and don't support the life we want. One way to overcome these
bullies is to identify our critical moments. For some people it may be sugar,
others staying in a toxic relationship. In a moment of weakness, we are pulled
to the destructive behavior that we don't want to be doing. Rather than rely on
willpower, the key is to first identify our unique critical moments, to root
out and quarantine the behavioral bullies, and then to develop a combat plan
(skills) to entirely prevent or overcome those moments. A client with whom I am
working was stuck in an emotional nighttime eating pattern; she realized she
was not eating enough calories in the daytime AND she was eating junk food to
alleviate (unsuccessfully) negative feelings from her highly critical boss. She
kept her gaze firmly on what was driving the destructive behavior. Once she
identified this critical moment and the invisible bullies that were sabotaging
her, she had a courageous conversation with her boss and ate more quality
calories during the day. Putting the behavioral bullies under a spotlight
helped her move very quickly toward her goals. If you are making a change in
your life, beware of the willpower trap. Yours In Great Health, Eileen T. O'Grady PhD RN,
NP Nurse Practitioner and
Wellness Coach |
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