Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.
Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings
Tarzan must drop one vine in order to grab the one that will pull him forward. Our wellbeing and personal growth could be pursued by naming the necessary endings that happen all around us. E.g., a problem that is resistant to getting fixed, a calcified dysfunctional family system, a friendship that no longer nourishes. To allow for new growth, the rosebush must be pruned, and we must recognize how the old, especially the hopeless old, can necessarily end.
How do we know when its time, or past time for a necessary ending? Rely on hopelessness. When a relationship or pursuit seems hopeless, you have your warning sign. Ask yourself ‘what evidence do I have that this person or problem will be different in the future, how will l tomorrow be different from today, where do I see change happening?’ Hopelessness about a situation can be a beacon of wisdom, a sign that we best stop trying, stop convincing ourselves, stop wishing, stop giving it more time, stop tolerating. This is not an invite to withdraw from the many problems in our society swirling around us, but to choose to limit your investment in the things that persistently pierce your peace. We must recognize the wisdom of necessary endings and healthy hopelessness. What in your life is interfering with your peace? What is your false hope that is preventing you from a better life or experience? What vine can you let go of?
A survivor of a plane crash, Captain Sullenberger’s landing in the Hudson. As the plane was falling, this passenger was not afraid. He was sad. To miss all that he loved. Beautiful message.
Upgrade the to-do list
Getting Things Done by David Allen was one of the best books I’ve read on time management. It’s a how-to -not live as a hostage to the to-do list and has great ideas on how to capture everything you need to do, to free up your brain power to do other things. Such as, organize your items by
- Next Actions
- Waiting for
A Practical Guide to Getting Things Done – the book is great but if you can’t read it, this webpage is a treasure trove of tools
Lets get Loud
A tribute to going after what we want. For those in procrastination, this may help.
Stay well, Eileen