Protect Yourself: Avoid Matching
“We don’t absorb the energy of others, we match it. Wayne Dyer
I’ve written about emotional vampires before: those people around us that are victims, know-it-alls, or complainers. Lately, my thinking on how to best deal with these people has evolved. If we feel drained after interacting with one of these types, it’s because we allow ourselves to absorb their negative energy. We match their approach to life, which is a strategy that only compounds negativity and drama.
What’s the better solution? Avoid engaging the behavior. When a co-worker is creating drama, say, “that must be hard” and walk away. Practicing non-reactivity is a gamechanger. It’s difficult, but it helps to remind ourselves that when we match the bad behaviors of others, we’re shirking the duty we have to our own responsibilities. Here are some other tools that’ll help you become less reactive to others
• Find a corner of quiet in your life daily. It is the only access point for wisdom. Quieting your mind is a key skill to becoming less reactive.
• Limit your exposure (of course). Energy vampires are a huge distraction.
• Set an intention to hold onto yourself and who you are when exposed to energy vampires. Put an invisible protective sheath over yourself.
• Fully accept that there will always be family/workplace drama, unkindness, etc. This helps you manage expectations.
• Take full responsibility for all of your intentions, thoughts and actions, no matter who is around. Emit kindness.
Nobody can drain us without our consent.
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This is such needed advice especially when emotional vampires seem to be growing in population. It is even possible to be in love with one and encircled by some friends who fit the definition. Emerging from their spell is not easy. “Know thyself.” Thank you for these tools to regain self-positivity and shelter. Kind thoughts.
HI Iris Great to hear from you. Agree and sometimes there are parts of people that can get under our skin. Learning how to not be so reactive is ongoing and really helping reduce my cortisol/stress level. Its a kind of freedom. Stay well.
Thank you Dr. O’Grady. There are many emotional vampires in my workplace, and I am one of them! Your words will help me to rethink how I interact with my colleagues in the future.
Thank you for the honesty Kim. Yes we all have our blind spots and your self awareness is so refreshing. Carry on! Eileen
This is absolutely real. I have learned to avoid these characters since they have sapped my energy , sometimes without even knowing it themselves.
Hi Janice- Yes I noticed that too, the vampire often is not aware that we are disengaged. I noticed when I’m less reactive, they become less vampire-ey. Great to hear from you.